Conflict Family

Ordinary People by Judith Guest is the figment of a dysfunctional family who relate to one a nonher by dint of a series of extensive defense mechanisms, i. e. an unconscious process whereby reality is malformed to reduce or pr up to nowt anxiety. The book opens with seventeen year doddery Conrad, son of upper middle-class Beth and Calvin Jarrett, home after eight months in a psychiatric hospital, there because he had attempted suicide by slashing his wrists. His become is a meticulously orderly person who, Jared, through projection, opinions despises him.She does all the right topics attending to Jareds physical needs, keeping a right home, plays golf and bridge with other women in her social circle, but, in her give birth words is an stirred up cripple. Jareds father, raised in an stripage, seems anxious to ravish everyone, a viridityplace reaction of individuals who, as children, experienced parental apathy or inconsistency. Though a successful tax attorney, he is s tony around Conrad, and , according to his wife, drinks too many martinis. Conrad seems consumed with despair.A return to prevalentcy, school day and home-life, appear to be more than Conrad can handle. Chalk- formulationd, hair-hacked Conrad seems bent on perpetuating the family myth that all is well in the world. His family, after all, are people of replete(p) taste. They do non discuss a problem in the face of the problem. And, besides, there is no problem. Yet, there is non one problem in this family but two Conrads suicide and the death by drowning of Conrads older brother, Buck. Conrad in conclusion contacts a psychiatrist, Dr. Berger, because he receives the air is full of flying glass and wants to feel in control.Their initial sessions together frustrate the psychiatrist because of Conrads inability to get his feelings. Berger cajoles him into expressing his emotions by maxim, Thats what happens when you bury this junk, kiddo. It keeps resurfacing. Wont leave you alone. Conrads slow but steady jaunt towards healing seems partially the result of cathartic revelations which purge guilt feelings regarding his brothers death and his familys denial of that death, plus the experience of a good woman. Jeannine, who sings soprano to Conrads stock There is no doubt that Conrad is consumed with guilt, the feeling one has when one acts contrasted to a role he has assumed while interacting with a portentous person in his life, This guilt engenders in Conrad feelings of low ego esteem. Survivors of grand tragedies, such as the Holocaust, frequently express similar feelings of worthlessness. In his book, Against tout ensemble Odds, William Helmreich relates how one survivor articulates a feeling of freement. Did I abandon them, or did they abandon me? Conrad expresses a similar thought in recollect the sequence of events when the sailboat they were on turned over.Buck soothes Conrad saying, Okay, okay. Theyll be flavor now, for sure, just ha ng on, dont get tired, promise? In an imagined conversation with his bloodless brother, Conrad asks, Man, whyd you let go? Because I got tired. The hell You never get tired, not before me, you dont You tell me not to get tired, you tell me to hang on, and accordingly you let go I couldnt help it. Well, screw you, then Conrad feels afflictive anger with his brother, but cannot comfortably express that anger.His psychiatrist, after needling Conrad, asks, Are you upset? When Conrad responds that he is not half-baked, the psychiatrist says, Now that is a lie. You are mad as hell. Conrad asserts that, When you let yourself feel, all you feel is lousy. When his psychiatrist questions him about his kindred with his vex, Calvin says, My mother and I do not connect. Why should it bother me? My mother is a very private person. This sort of response is called, in psychological literature, rationalization. We see Conrads anger and aggression is displaced, i. e. vented on another, as when he physically attacked a schoolmate.Yet, he also turns his anger on himself and expresses in extreme and dangerous depression and guilt. Guilt is a normal emotion felt by most people, but among survivors it takes on supernumerary meaning. Most feel guilty about the death of loved ones whom they feel they could have, or should have, saved. Some feel guilty about situations in which they behaved selfishly (Conrad held on to the boat even after his brother let go), even if there was no other way to survive. In answer to a query from his psychiatrist on when he last got really mad, Conrad responds, When it comes, theres of all time too a great deal of it.I dont know how to handle it. When Conrad is finally capable to express his anger, Berger, the psychiatrist says to Calvin, Razoring is anger self-mutilation is anger. So this is a good feature turning his anger outward at last. Because his family, and especially his mother, frowns upon public displays of emotion, Conrad keeps his feelings bottled up, which hike contributes to depression. Encyclopedia Britannica, in explicating the dynamics of depression states, Upon close study, the attacks on the self are revealed to be unconscious expressions of disappointment and anger toward another person, or even a circumstance deflected from their real direction onto the self.The aggression, therefore, directed toward the away(p) world is turned against the self. The article further asserts that, There are one-third cardinal psychodynamic considerations in depression (1) a deep sense of disadvantage of what is loved or valued, which may be a person, a thing or even liberty (2) a conflict of mixed feelings of love and hatred toward what is loved or highly valued (3) a heightened overcritical concern with the self. Conrads parents are also busily engaged in the melody of denial.Calvin, Conrads father, says, Dont worry. Everything is all right. By his own admission, he drinks too much, because drinking helps , wearisome the pain. Calvin cannot tolerate conflict. Things must go smoothly. Everything is jello and pudding with you, Dad. Calvin, the orphan says, Grief is ugly. It is something to be afraid of, to get rid of. Safety and order. by all odds the priorities of his life. He constantly questions himself as to whether or not he is a good father. What is fatherhood, anyway? Beth, Conrads mother, is very self-possessed. She appears to have a highly highly-developed super-ego, that part of an individuals personality which is moralistic , meeting the demands of social convention, which can be irrational in requiring certain behaviors in spite of reason, convenience and common sense. She is furthermore, a perfectionist. Everything had to be perfect, never mind the impossible cogency it worked on her, on them all. Conrad is not unlike his mother. He is an overachiever, an A student, on the swim team and a list-maker.His father tells the psychiatrist, I see her not being able to forgive him. For surviving, maybe. No, thats not it, for being too much like her. A psychoanalyst might call her anal retentive. mortal who is fixated symbolically in orderliness and a tendency toward perfectionism. Excessive self-control, not expressing feelings, guards against anxiety by controlling any expression of emotion and denying emotional investment in a t hing or person. She had not cried at the funeral. She and Conrad had been strong and calm throughout.The message of the book is contained in Bergers glib saying that, People who keep stiff upper lips find that its damn problematical to smile. We see Conrad moving toward recovery and the successful management of his peg of development, as articulated by Erikson, intimacy vs. isolation. At base end, his father is more open with Conrad, moving closer to him, while his mother goes off on her own to work out her issues. Both exhausting to realize congruence in their development stage (Erikson), ego law vs. despair.